We’ve all been in situations that required us to survive, to put one foot in front of the other and just keep walking. For some of us, this was physical survival, enough food, warm shelter, clothing. However, for most of us, this was a form of emotional survival, going through the motions of each day attending to the requirements set before us, until the day we just stop. In my observation, a great many people live in emotional survival, just moving from one day to the next.
On the other side of this phenomenon is ambition. Ambition is a lot like pushing a giant bolder up a mountain. You work and work to push the boulder up the mountain. To get the next promotion, to sell the next product to build the next thing. And then the boulder rolls back down the mountain, your new promotion is the same old thing with more stress, the product is replaced by another one, you finish one thing only to start another.
So how do we move past both of these forms of surviving to thriving?
It’s a big question and the journey between the two is definitely a personal one, but here’s my hypothesis. We move past survival to thriving through a combination of intentional frame of reference and centered purpose.
Every experience, circumstance, interaction, event can be viewed through multiple perspectives or frames of reference. Think of it like putting on a pair of tinted lens or sunglasses, it changes the way you see things. Please do not misunderstand, this is not eternal optimism or ignoring the facts of the circumstance. It’s an established problem solving technique. When the answer is not apparent, look at the problem a different way. This takes a great deal of practice and certainly some intentional reflection, by the idea is to frame your perspective for each circumstance in a way that helps you to thrive.
But how do you know what frame of reference will allow you to thrive?
Centered purpose. You listen closely to your inner self, find your purpose and use it as a litmus test for everything. You don’t always say yes and you don’t always say no. You weigh each opportunity and perspective against your centered purpose, does it help you on your journey? For some opportunities, you won’t know how the circumstances helped you develop toward your centered purpose until later, but if you listen, there is always a slight tug toward the answer that helps you along your path.
Back to the question, how do we move from surviving to thriving? We use our centered purpose to reflect on our frame of reference and make intentional choices based on this reflection.