My life has contained many chapters. While I was a teacher, I had a high school student ask me how I ended up at a certain high school. Without thinking, I said, “I go where the universe sends me.” Although I hadn’t preplanned the answer, it doesn’t make it any less true. In my experience, these interactions almost always result in the next steps for both me and the other person. We both, or so it seems, walk away with a different perspective than the one we had before.
I used to say that the only thing consistent is change. To be honest, I didn’t understand what it meant fully. If change is your constant, it changes everything about your perception. At each turn in the road, there has been a parting and an embarking on a new path. My husband and I relocate often, and we never say goodbye to those we have loved in a chapter, just “see you down the road” because we understand there are no true endings and beginnings, just the journey.
What’s amazing during the last few days of a chapter, people start to show their authentic selves. Some become more open, more vulnerable. It’s like they know they are about to miss an opportunity that may not return. While I am grateful for their bravery and glad for the moments together, I often wonder how many moments we may have had if they were able to engage authentically sooner. If you look at life from the perception of change, you allow yourself permission to be your authentic self and use your authentic voice because you understand the fleeting nature of moments and opportunities.
On the other side, there are those who have spent time showing a false sense of kindness and graciousness who at this stage drop the mask and show their true selves (which isn’t always pretty). I again wonder about the facade and the choice of timing to let it slip away. When you embrace intentional change, you treat others with compassion and love and don’t abide less in return. You understand the impact of your words and actions and know the best revenge is a life well lived.
In a life with many chapters, you come to value authenticity, kindness, curiosity, and inspiration. You cherish moments and know there is something to learn from everyone. Each of us carries a spark, a series of experiences, and a frame of reference. Each of our journeys are distinct and the lessons from them a part of the larger whole. When you really value others, you don’t endlessly search for those who are like you or those who are different. You just take each person as they come, knowing there is a lesson for both of you in the interaction.
You love people and understand that not all people fit in all chapters. Your interactions become about the journey, the experience of interacting with people. There are no expectations because there can’t be. It’s only about the moments you have together and how you choose to spend them. You understand that while your journeys are intersecting, they are not the same. You have the courage to allow others to take their own journey in the way that suits them.
A life with many chapters isn’t for everyone. I understand my friends who are content where they are and even wonder if I had a different journey, would I build the type of lifelong relationships I come across. But that’s not my journey nor my purpose. So, I come, carpet bag in hand, to spread some sparkles, rainbows and unicorns for a little while in hopes that neither of us will ever be the same.